Is the manager there please?

I find myself saying this phrase regularly in Bangalore. As this town hurtles towards modernisation, often basic structural things are forgotten. Like staff training. Or controlling and verifying procedures. Which is why the following things happen:

1) I go in a large department store here, called Lifestyle. So this isn’t a basic Mom & Pop store or ‘bui-bui’ but an established business, with several storeys of clothes, shoes and houseware. Of course I look at the shoes in passing. After a little time and trying on session, I find an Indian style shoe (flat with flamboyant embroidery) I like and that fits. I ask for the right foot to wear them both at once. The shop boy disappears. I wait. And wait. He doesn’t come back. I go and find him. I guess they’re having problems locating the right foot. I say I’ll walk round the shop and come back. I come back. They still can't find the right foot. I leave them our card, to call us if they do, and leave.

In India, quantity, rather than quality, seems to be favoured. They’ll throw a rugby scrum of people at a job, thinking it’ll get done. In shops, restaurants etc, many staff will have been hired. But you get the impression, when you ask one of them something that they can do very little. They are there to look good, to impress you. Window-dressing. In fact they just loiter and chat to their friends cos they’re bored and have little responsibility. The opposite of impressing you.

Often you ask a question. The guy doesn’t know or understand. He gives you a fairytale made-up answer and walks away. You wait then go after him. He introduces someone else to you higher up the chain. You explain your question all over again. Again, they don’t know or understand. They find someone else and you ask your question a 3rd time. It feels like the film Groundhog Day (Un jour sans fin). Or the TV series Fawlty Towers.

2) I go to Health & Glow, a para-pharamacy & pharmacy, similar to Boots in the UK. Again a well-known chain, with several shops in B’lore. I look and see 3 products on special offer. Their labels say: From 21st June to 26th July. Recommended retail price 495 rupees. Now: ____ And the Now price is blank, for all 3. I go see a guy. Ask the question. Follow him round the shop like a zombie to get an answer. About 5 people are involved in the process of getting me a price. Finally someone who could be the store manager gives me the prices. Instead of writing the discounted price on the label, she writes the discount. So it now says: RRP: 495. Now: 40. I try to explain to her that this could be misunderstood, but realize I’m wasting my breath when she smiles at me!

3) Airline tickets for Japan: we go to the Singapore Airlines office on Saturday. We plan to fly to Japan via Singapore (you have to stop somewhere, there are no direct flights from B’lore). We get a price for our itinerary and ask the women to block the seats, as it looks competitive. I go back on Monday to pay, as it’s cheaper than the price on the internet. The woman quotes me a different, much higher price.

I say, how is this possible, we blocked the seats on Saturday. This is the whole point of blocking seats! She says that one of the flights is more expensive. I say, how come we didn’t know that on Saturday. She strings me along, saying she didn’t know on Saturday. I don’t manage to get a satisfactory answer from her. So, I ask for the office manager.

She is in fact sitting in the same room, at the end of the counter, with just a metre high partition separating her from the rest of the room. I think she’s probably heard the whole thing. But as usual I re-tell my story about what has happened. It’s difficult to do this when you’re feeling angry!

Fortunately for my health, she admits relatively quickly and easily that her member of staff has made a mistake. And that I’ve wasted my morning coming to the office when I could have done it at home. And that the only price she can offer me is the internet price. Hearing someone have the responsibility to own up to a mistake calms me down very quickly. Unfortunately it doesn’t happen very often here!

The cherry on the cake or pièce de resistance is that many people will not say when they have not understood you. They’ll just pretend to understand and say back what they think they are expected to say. They think you’ll be angry if they don’t understand. When in fact what drives you crazy is that they don’t say they don’t understand! Our maid and even the receptionist at the doctors do this. The only near foolproof way I’ve found round it, is to ask our driver to call them and talk things through.

It’s not a language that differentiates expats from Indians and makes our interactions more difficult or more…enriching! Although knowing words does help.
It’s a culture.